As part of our curriculum in the Discipleship Program we are listening to a series of messages that are a survey of the Bible. I am really enjoying going through these, getting a better understanding of God’s Word, seeing the ‘scarlet thread' throughout, and looking for application for my life.
Recently I was listening to a message on Ezra, and the pastor was sharing about the exiles who had returned from Babylon and were weeping along with the celebration at the dedication of the temple. (Ezra 3:12). He said one thing that really stood out to me, “If you want to live a miserable life, live it looking back over your shoulder.” He then went on to state how the living “in the future” can be just the same.
I think most young people grapple for quite some time with what they want to do with their life, or “what they want to be when they grow up.” This has always been something on my mind because I never had a definite idea of what I wanted to do. It isn’t for lack of ideas, I just don’t have it all clearly laid out, which as someone who likes to know what is going on is hard to take. Sure, I could decide something right now, but is that what the Lord wants for me?
I have been seeking the Lord for what He wants me to do after my year in the Discipleship Program and have been so focused on next year, and after that. It was getting frustrating that God wasn’t giving me clear direction. And then it came to me. I don’t know if I would say that God spoke to me, as there was no audible voice, and I don’t feel very skilled in listening to Him or discerning His direction. But this is my summary of what I believe He is showing me, “You don’t need to have a plan. I am in control, and I have guided and provided for you every step of the way so far. You need to keep following step by step, day by day, not decade by decade, or even year by year. Am I not teaching you now? What do I have for you in this moment? In this week? In this day?”
My focus was so much on next year, that I wasn’t paying near enough attention to this year. I thought I had given this one year to the Lord, but I was taking moments back one by one and filling them with anxiety, concern, and not near enough trust.
So, going forward, I am putting aside next year; that stage of my life and decisions about it will come in God’s perfect timing. For now, I am taking each day and trying (I’m still learning) to discover what God has for me right now and what He would have me grow in this day.
~ Disciple of 2019