This past month in class we have been reading through “Calvary Road” by Roy Hession. In the beginning I really struggled with the message of the book, this was mostly because it was so convicting for me. It was as if God was using it to point to all the areas of my life that needed to be dealt with and I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. I knew that God was going to have to do the work in me and I asked Him to do whatever it took to bring me to that point of brokenness before Him. It was one of those prayers that I didn’t really know what the answer would look like at the time, but all the way through the book I experienced God breaking me in answer to that prayer.

discipleship-blog-crossGod showed me what true brokenness looks like. It is responding in humility to God’s conviction of sin. It is not a onetime thing, but a daily choice to surrender myself completely to the Lord’s will. Brokenness begins when I come to the foot of the cross and look upon Jesus who was willing to be broken for me. He was willing to give up His life and take upon Himself my sins, because of His love for me.

When I think of what Christ went through, it humbles me and puts me in awe of the incredible love of Jesus. He was willing to be broken, suffer and pour out His blood on the cross in a demonstration of complete obedience to His Father. In response I cannot refuse to follow in His example by being willing to yield my time, rights, reputation and will to Him, in order to be filled with His life.

The only way God can do His work in me is if I allow Him to put to death my sinful nature, so that He can live victorious through me. I have to be open to God’s conviction, allowing Him to reveal the sin in my life and then be willing to respond in obedience to His voice. I cannot change or experience brokenness through striving on my own. Only Christ can do the work in me through the power of His Holy Spirit.

As I daily walk with Christ He continues to bring to light the areas in my heart that I must surrender to Him. When I choose to respond to His conviction, I am able to experience the
nearness and intimate fellowship of my Father. For He is near to those who are humble and broken before Him.

“Lord, break me, then cleanse me and fill me

And keep me abiding in thee; 

That fellowship may be unbroken,

And Thy Name be hallowed in me.”

—School of Discipleship student



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One of the first things Jesus did in His public ministry was to call the four fishermen to follow Him. Throughout the Gospels we see Jesus calling individuals to follow Him some of which heeded the call and others who did not. However, they were all called to the same thing i.e. to follow Him. Some were called to give up their vocations, others their wealth, but all were called to follow.

The primary call of God seems to be one of following. Paul was called to the Gentiles and Peter to the Jews, but both of these callings would be encompassed in following God. What does it mean to follow Jesus? As I mentioned previously, it requires us to give up something. However, if we focus only on what we give up we miss the point and often become defined by what we don’t pursue rather than by the One we do pursue. Some have pointed that when we choose to follow Christ we must take up our cross as He took up His. This is true, but we must remember the goal isn’t to take up the cross. Taking up the cross is merely the process on our way to the goal. I have sometimes lost my focus on Christ because I was focusing on the cross and suffering that I was to take up. It is not suffering in itself that we are to pursue but Christ who lies beyond the suffering. In the same way Christ pursued the goal set before Him and accepted His cross. In Hebrews 12, the author of Hebrews tells us the goal Christ had to enable him to bear His cross.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.

— Hebrews 12:1-3 ESV

It was for joy–the joy of reconciling the world to himself–that Christ despised the shame. I recently had the privilege to study a portion of Colossians chapter two. The one thing that continually stood out to me was the triumph that Christ had in the cross. A believer from the early centuries of Christianity said of the passage that Paul had never spoken with a more lofty tone. Through th

discipleship-blog-cross

e cross and the shame of it, Christ received the joy that was set before Him and now He is seated beside the Father.

As Christ had a joy set before Him, so we also have a joy set before us. Because of this joy, we can endure the cross that we take up despising its shame. We will be united with Christ in Heaven and because of this fact anything that the world and the enemy hurls against us in this life will be worth it when we see Christ face to face.

It will be worth it all when we see Jesus, Life’s trials will seem so small when we see Christ; One glimpse of His dear face all sorrow will erase,
So bravely run the race till we see Christ.

— Esther Kerr Rusthoi

—Disciple in GFA Discipleship Program



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There is something about the quietness and stillness of a morning when no one else is up and not a sound is heard besides nature itself. It is in those times that the Lord seems to speak to my heart most often. While sitting by the lake recently listening to the sounds of nature, doing my devotions, Psalm 63 got my attention and I had to stop and meditate on what God was saying. It was in the first verse already that my heart was humbled. For it says.

O God, You are my God; early will I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh longs for you in a dry and thirsty land where there is no water.

— Psalm 63:1 NKJV

discipleship-blog-sunsetThe God of the universe is my God. He created the beauty of nature and He created me too. I really enjoy sunrises and sunsets. While camping with my fellow students and GFA staff recently, I was able to experience both for a few days. Having my devotion early in the morning when all was still and quiet brought peace to my heart. I have not experienced that in a long time. There was something that stood out to me in the second phrase, “early will I seek you.” Something inside me wanted to get up and see the sunrise and when I read that chapter I knew it was God placing the desire in my heart to meet with Him. By getting up early to spend time with the Lord, it allowed my heart to eagerly seek Him at the same time. I’ve noticed other times when I’ve found rest and peace in my heart it was God meeting me in His word, like when I’m by a lake with a sunrise or sunset. It is like God draws me to Himself through whatever I am reading by His Holy Spirit. That morning when I was enjoying being in His presence by the lake, He again brought peace to my heart. My heart was truly thirsting for more of Him and He alone has the water to satisfy our thirsty souls.

Having my quiet times with the Lord and reading the word is bringing me closer to God and deepening my relationship with Him. My heart has been able to see and experience so many rich benefits from getting up early and spending the first part of my day with the Lord and in His word. Having been at Gospel For Asia’s School of Discipleship now for almost six months I have come to really enjoy my quiet times with the Lord. Spending time with the Lord first thing in the morning is so worth missing sleep for. My body will always be able to make up for the sleep it has lost; but my soul and spirit cannot make up for the times I could have spent in reading and praying.

My desire is to say with the Psalmist. “My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up.” Psalm 5:3 KJV. I know it will take time to grow in getting up early and spending time with the Lord; but the Lord wants to grant us our hearts desire. And this is one desire that I know He will grant because there are not too many people that love getting up early for any reason. This desire comes from God.

Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

— Psalm 37:4 KJV

—Disciple in GFA Discipleship Program



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During this year of School of Discipleship there have been battles and emotions that I have not been able to defeat and conquer on my own. It is as if I have become a clear target for the enemies’ arrows of doubt, fear, and anxiety. The Lord has never been short of showing Himself faithful, but I could never figure out why His acts of faithfulness have always become shadowed when I face a trial. Why am I so quick to forget all that He has brought me through, and fall right into the doubt and fear that has already been conquered at the cross of Christ? Why am I so quick to open the door of my heart to discouragement and defeat? I know that through Jesus’ death on the cross I can now experience freedom, hope and victory but the distance between my head and heart seems to be a mile long.

During my solitude time over the SD camping weekend, I asked the Lord to speak to my heart and reveal to me what I needed to change or apply in my life. He brought me to Gideon in the book of Judges. Gideon was the weakest man from the weakest tribe, but God had a plan to use him to bring liberating victory to the Israelites. I would not call Gideon a mighty warrior, but rather a lowly man filled with the same fear and doubt that I struggle with every day. He did not feel worthy of the impossible task and so he asked the Lord for signs of confirmation. It was after the third sign that he developed the faith and courage to follow in God’s will to fight against the Midianites.

When Gideon came, behold, a man was telling a dream to his comrade. And he said, “Behold, I dreamed a dream, and behold, a cake of barley bread tumbled into the camp of Midian and came to the tent and struck it so that it fell and turned it upside down, so that the tent lay flat.” And his comrade answered, “This is no other than the sword of Gideon the son of Joash, a man of Israel; God has given into his hand Midian and all the camp.”

When Gideon heard the dream and its interpretation, he bowed down and worshiped. He returned to the camp of Israel and called out, “Get up! The Lord has given the Midianite camp into your hands.”

— Judges 7: 13-15

So what was it that turned Gideon into a mighty man of faith? What finally gave him the courage to fight against a great host with only 300 men on his side? It was the act of worship in response to the interpretation of the dream that changed the gaze of his eyes. He no longer feared his enemies but now feared the God who had been faithful to the rebellious nation of Israel. My answer lies in the story of Gideon. God has been so faithful to me during this year of School of Discipleship, and as I look back I should interpret every answer to prayer as an outpouring of His love, guidance and protection over my life. It should bring me to complete awe and worship of the One whose strength is made perfect in my weakness. As I look up towards the heavens, He will give me the wisdom and strength to dodge the flaming arrows of the enemy in order to accomplish all that the He has in store for my life.

—Disciple in GFA Discipleship Program



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discipleship-blog-crossThe Son of God is hanging on a cross, suffering unimaginably but not just from physical pain but from the weight of the sin of the whole world, my sin included! He has the choice to call ten thousand legions of Angels to His rescue but He stays, He submits to the will of His Father to redeem mankind from their sin. He knows He is their only hope, and so He willingly gives up His life on the cross. All creation trembles and the sky grows dark, it acknowledges what has taken place.

It was here at the cross when Jesus died that redemption was made possible for us. Ephesians 1:7 “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of God’s grace.” (NKJV)

I have known the truth of this for almost my whole life, having grown up in a Christian home, but only recently has it actually changed my life. I have been a Christian for a couple of years now; I gave my life to Christ at a revival meeting one night when I was 18. The joy of being forgiven of my sins was amazing! I was on fire for God; unfortunately it didn’t last very long… I didn’t know what I had done wrong and I started doubting my salvation. I had many doubts and had no victory in my Christian life, I felt confused and alone. I lived this way for many years and eventually I began searching Scripture and started believing the promises of God about how He has called us and will complete the work He has started in our lives. I didn’t have complete victory over this until recently.

We had a speaker come and teach our class a couple of weeks ago and his topic was not about redemption but while teaching he mentioned briefly what redemption means and how it impacted his life and I was just struck by this truth and it has stayed with me ever since. He said that when we come to the cross in repentance and salvation we exchange our lives for the Righteousness of Christ, so that when God looks at us He does not see us in our sinful flesh but He sees Christ’s Righteousness in us. Galatians 2:20 “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” (ESV)

This verse was not foreign to me, I just never really fully grasped it’s meaning but it makes so much sense now and it has really encouraged me and helped me be victorious in my life! Through Redemption Christ lives in me, by understanding this truth I now can fully surrender my life to Christ and trust Him to work in me and make me more like Him; I don’t have to try and overcome my sins and failures on my own.

God has united you with Christ Jesus. For our benefit God made him to be wisdom itself. Christ made us right with God; he made us pure and holy, and he freed us from sin.

— 1 Corinthians 1:30

—Disciple in GFA Discipleship Program



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